If She Wants To Play Rough In Bed, Here's What You Need To Do

Dinner at the restaurant was romantic, and together, you finished off a bottle of red wine. The full moon is bright. She’s happy. It’s all happening. Together, you walk back to her place, touching fingertips, clasping and unclasping hands, flirting in whispers, and as you approach your building, the flirting gets heavy and a little dirty.

And then she tells you she’d like something a little different tonight. You’re amused, and you like that she’s asking and then, she says that tonight, she wants it rough. You hear the words, which don’t quite match up with her demure profile and perfectly applied makeup... and wonder how you’re going to manage this.

1. What Is Rough Sex?

1. What Is Rough Sex?

Rough sex is not vanilla. It’s about becoming mutually aroused by discomfort and integrating hair pulling, pushing around, manhandling and even spanking with sex. Gone are the tender caresses, and in their place are commands. The tone of rough sex is different than the sweet, sultry allure of a typical night. Rough sex gets physical and it can get vigorous. It can be intense because the line is there to be crossed. There’s an element of role-playing, but a good actor gives of himself so it’s not all about the role — it’s also about what you bring to it.

If this sounds interesting, then this is probably something for you. And, at the right time, with the right partner, it can a lot of fun and can bring you closer. It’s also a great way to work out some feelings and let your partner know this other, more exciting, slightly dangerous side of your personality that you can’t show in real life because it’s perceived as threatening and therefore inappropriate. But in the bedroom, between consenting partners, this is where you have a little fun with rough sex.

Of course, you should always use common sense. There are times when rough sex doesn’t work and shouldn’t. If you have a partner who has a history of abuse or violence, this isn’t a good idea. In spite of your good intentions, the rough sex can trigger flashbacks and bad memories. Or, when you’re in a relationship with someone who’s adamantly against rough sex or has a negative reaction to anything that’s rough and tumble, you’re better off avoiding it. And if you know that you, yourself, have problems with impulse control and have trouble stopping once you’ve gotten started, this probably isn’t for you.